Today is my birthday! Cue the gold number balloons…
Every year on my birthday, I take a moment to reflect on the past year. This year I decided to consider the past 29 years and what I’ve learned. I even re-learned some things while compiling this list. Comment below if you can relate to any of these.
Here are 29 things I’ve learned over the past 29 years:
1. I am Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Psalm 139:14 has kept me rooted in believing so many truths not only about myself, but about God. Over the years, I’ve struggled with feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, depression and afraid of being misunderstood. But the soothing power of His Word has affirmed my confidence in knowing that He knows me so intimately, I could never be misunderstood by the One who matters most. And by choosing to walk in this truth, I know that I am enough.
2. Set Boundaries
Personal boundaries are so important. The Bible tells us to love each other as we love ourselves, meaning we have to love ourselves. And one vital way is to set boundaries, for work and personal.
3. I’m Only Human
This is a hard lesson and I am still learning. The fact that I’m human means that I have imperfections. And as much as I hate being reminded that I’m not perfect, I am grateful because it’s shown me how much I desperately need a Savior.
4. i before e, except after c
A concept that I learned in my early childhood that still helps me today, and it’s a great example of Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” It’s fascinating how many childhood lessons can be applied to adulthood. I am thankful that many have kept me grounded.
5. Lying isn’t the Answer
I’ve always valued my reputation and prided myself on being responsible. Unfortunately, that led me to consider lying to cover my shortcomings. But lying only leads to more lying and the truth is always discovered. Being honest is key.
6. Conflict is healthy
I developed a habit of avoiding conflict, especially with the people that I care about most. I never wanted anyone to have any reason to upset with me, but that left me in a bind emotionally. Surprisingly, I’ve seen how conflict has only helped strengthened the relationships I have.
7. Thai people don’t use chopsticks
Recently honeymooned in Thailand and realized that they don’t use chopsticks. It’s funny how I put assumptions on cultures but hate when those same assumptions and stereotypes are placed on me as a black woman. This realization definitely caused me to take a step back and see the speck in my own eye.
8. Chiropractors are miracle workers
This past year, I was in three car accidents. After the first accident, I went to the chiropractor for the first time ever and I’ll just say…they are miracle workers.
9. Nothing Can Stop You – Not Even Yourself
Self explanatory. What’s for you is for you. We got this!
10. You can’t Buy Babies
This one is here for giggles. When I was eight, I begged my mom to buy me a baby. I thought you go to the store and pick one out. I was thinking it would make a great pet. I now know there’s so much more responsibility. I’m good love, enjoy.
11. Introverts Rule the World
This world seems to be a place for extroverts to thrive. From group projects to easily out-going, I always felt like I was being forced to be different
12. Fail forward
Fail early, fail often, but always fail forward.” “If you’re not failing, you’re probably not really moving forward.” – John Maxwell
13. Devil in the Details
Paying attention to details will help you in every area of life.
14. Comparison is a Killer
The social media era brings challenges of comparing myself to others, strangers and friends. This comparison lead me to began to doubt my own talents and strengths. I almost gave in to thinking that I had to be just like them for more likes and followers — for approval. This definitely shifted my focus from where I found my self worth. I am enough period.
15. Singleness is a Gift
In a world where marriage is idolized, I am thankful to understand how singleness truly is a gift before marriage. Not saying that I wish I was single right now because my husband is truly amazing. I am saying that every season of life that we live is a gift…even singleness.
16. It’s Okay to not have Everything Figured Out
When I graduated from high school at 18, I thought being an adult meant having everything figured out. I had to have a plan for college and life after. It frustrated me that I wasn’t sure about many things and the pressure of it all was a huge weight. I wanted to impress my family by being decisive and succeeding. As I continue to learn and grow, it’s been absolutely freeing to recognize that no one has everything figured out…and that’s okay.
17. Self Care is Important
Life gets real real fast. I have found ways to stay mentally and emotionally healthy with a few outlets. My favorite self care outlets are journaling, nail spas, writing and watching movies.
18. Just Start It
Whatever it is that you’re hesitating with starting, just start it. You don’t have to have all the ducks in a row. They are ducks anyway. Since when will they ever stay together?
19. Procrastination Focus is a Myth
Throughout high school and college, I always procrastinated assignments and major projects. I found it difficult to focus if I started working in advance. The truth is, I just enjoyed the added pressure and adrenaline that came with procrastination. I’ve learned that by creating multiple deadlines, I could create the same adrenaline without running out of time to actually present something of excellence.
20. Keep Good Hygiene
Hygiene health is a leading indicator of depression. I’ve experienced the spiraling effects of ignoring good hygienic habits. I noticed that when my junky room directly correlated to my emotional state. One day I committed to always putting my clothes up at the end of the day and I saw how that practical decision helped me mentally. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” -Zig Ziglar
21. It’s Okay to Say No
Responsibility is one of my top strengths which has led me to say yes to many things. But I am also responsible to say No. I have an obligation to myself to value my health and capacity. I create my own boundaries. I must also choose to remain within them. Responsibility when saying no is just as important when saying yes.
22. Everyday is a Blessing
When my aunt passed away a few months ago, I started dwelling on the fact that no day is promised to us. It was difficult for me to look at friends and family and wonder if this was the last time I would see them. It helped me cherish the moments I have with loved ones and keep my priorities.
23. Work Smarter Not Harder
I’ve always been one to say, if it ain’t broke, don’t break it. But I have learned and still learning that some things need to be broken. Some systems aren’t efficient. While they may be familiar, smarter systems may save a few headaches.
24. Always Speak from a Point of Intelligence
My dad used to say this almost every day growing up. We always valued speaking with confidence and intellect. This was easiest when thinking before speaking. It challenged me to consider different perspectives before sharing my own.
25. Comfort Over Growth
Choosing growth over my own comfort is an ongoing lesson. Sometimes I am persuaded to believe that I am entitled to being comfortable, but I know that’s the gateway to complacency and laziness. In order to grow and become a better person, I must step outside of my comfort zone.
26. Words Matter
Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you. A saying we always repeated on the playground growing up but is incredibly false. Words do hurt and they matter. I learned to be careful with them because even with apologies, you can’t take them back.
27. We have the Same 24 hours as Beyonce
I often believe that I could do more if I had more time. The truth is, the time isn’t the issue but how I spend it is. I have to be a good steward of the time I have or it will fly by. Time doesn’t wait for anyone.
28. Write it Down
Write down your thoughts. Write down your goals. Write down your dreams. Write down your fears. Writing things down can help you think clearly and create solutions and action items.
29. Dez Caught It
It’s Cowboys Nation forever. He caught that ball. LOL!
