“Lord, why are You giving others the exact things that I’m praying for? Please don’t pass me by.”
Have you ever prayed this prayer? Or perhaps it just crossed your mind?
If I’m really honest with myself, I have prayed this prayer too many times. As if I had forgotten that the Lord has never looked over me.
Honesty hour: So I’ve had this consistent prayer recently for a substantial amount of time. Short enough for me to not completely throw in the towel but long enough for me to be envious of others. I get a text, open Instagram, logged onto Facebook, check my emails…sooooo many other friends are praising God because He has given them the very thing I’ve been praying for. Throwing in the towel is looking like a real winner.
Ok God, what’s the deal? Are my prayers going through? Do you even remember that I’m here? You told me to ask, but in my asking I began to develop faith that you will actually answer my prayers. Now, that very faith is causing too much disappointment. Maybe I shouldn’t have begun to think that you would come through for me. Who am I right? So many other people have needs too. I guess you’re saying mine can wait.
There’s something about endurance that the Lord truly wants us to grasp. James 1:2 says count it all joy when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
Why in the world is endurance necessary?
Hebrews 12 tells us that we are running a race and in order to finish, we must fix our eyes on Christ and run with endurance.
“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12: 1-2 (NASB)
Well I can tell you two things:
1. My eyes were fixed on others.
The minute that friends and family started to reap the blessings God has in store for them, my eyes were no longer on Him. My focus was on comparing myself, being secretly envious and wondering when my time was going to come…as if I deserved this.
2. I lost hope to endure.
And when my eyes were no longer gazed upon Christ, I felt like it was time to stop believing. It was time to wrap up this fairy tale ending that God was going to come through for me like I prayed for. I mean, how long could this honestly take? As my endurance to keep believing ceased, so did my prayer life and sin began to flood my heart.
I guess it’s up to me now to take care of myself because the Lord stopped hearing me.
But I needed to be reminded that to label this opportunity to be tested a joyous one. Because in the end, not only will I receive the blessing of answered prayer, but I get a bonus: endurance. Ok God, so it’s back to this race. Running with my eyes fixed and a stronger faith and more stamina. And I think it’s safe to say that I’ll need that endurance to get me through the next test.
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