Fearless

Last week I saw Wonder Woman. Shoutout to DC for finally making a decent movie, but I digress. Like so many women around the world, Wonder Woman’s bravery channeled a feeling within that made us confident that we could conquer the world…or at least any obstacle. To others, she sounded crazy.  Her mission seemed impossible. But she did not let fear stand in her way. She endured. She won. She was fearless.

I too could be like Wonder Woman. But I have so many fears.

Things I am afraid of:

• Heights
• Fire
• Roller Coasters
• Drowning
• Failure
• Snakes
• Dying
• Rodents
• Rejection
• Me

More times than not, I am the mountain. I am the storm. I am the desert. I am the obstacle. I am the baggage. I am the battle. I get in the way of my own success because I am afraid of me.

If our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then what can stand against? (Romans 8:31)

Well…I definitely try to stop me. I get in the way of my own success because I am afraid of me.

Am I capable of reaching my goal? Will I continue to succeed? How will others feel around me? Does my mountaintop experience mean that someone therefore suffers in the valley? Who am I that God would choose me for this specific assignment? There are better speakers, better writers, better encouragers, kinder people than me. So many Christians with more fruit and stronger roots. I feel unable to move forward toward success, toward the call of Christ, toward the exaltation of the humble because of fear.

You know that poem that we all quote that is so deep and absolutely so true? It completely captures my feeling and destroys it at the same time.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

When I take a second and realize that I have a responsibility to proclaim the Gospel with my mouth and with my actions, I cannot be fearful. I cannot get in my own way. To choose the path of fear, I am also saying, God, not your will, but let mine be done. I am saying God, you are incapable of handling my fears. I am saying God, You are not use me as a vessel to manifest your glory to this world. I am saying, God, don’t send me, I won’t go.

If you can’t say amen, just say ouch.

It is not so that I can be made important. It is for others to see me and give God praise.

Woah…so much pressure. I am a light that is meant to shine in darkness. That would mean that I have to live right. But I am flawed and make mistakes. I neglect my quiet times and act disobediently. And just like the chains of sin, the chain of fear is not bigger than my God. He is the deliverer. We just have to want to be free.

Some days are easier than others. There are moments where fear seems to be the better route. But I have to fight against that with conscious decisions to walk in freedom, pray, daily Scripture readings and meditations and accountability.

I sought the Lord, and He answered me,
And delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4

He delivered me from me. So I could be fearless.

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