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I love taking selfies. My friends and siblings sometimes jokingly refer to me as the selfie queen. Flip through my camera roll and you’ll see a plethora of selfies. I mean, portrait mode on the front facing camera was God’s gift to us! 🙂 Sometimes I posted them to social media and sometimes they were just for me. I didn’t mean to seem super into only myself. I didn’t mean to portray that I thought I was better than anyone else. To me, if I felt good and felt sure of myself, then I appreciated myself with a selfie. I wanted to capture the moments where I felt super strong and confident. I thought, I really like who I am in this moment — inside and out. Growing up around strong men and women, I always equated confidence to strength. I believed that the more confident I was, the more I could endure.

I was talking to my fiancé and it dawned on me that I don’t take many selfies anymore. I have experienced a slight shift in my personal confidence. I had been having less moments of completely loving who I am. If you read my last blog post, God Made Me Dope, you can see a little bit of the struggle there too.

And as a result in my lack of confidence, I felt weak. I felt weak spiritually, emotionally and even physically. Giving in to my complacency and laziness instead of fighting to be the person I know I am. And so began the cycle – the spiritual laziness continued to create distance between me and my Creator. The emotional weakness created more doubt and uncertainty. And the physically inactivity hindered me from achieving daily goals and honoring commitments I made to myself…which led to less confidence…which led to more feelings of inadequacy…which led to less confidence…you get the cycle.

So here I am on what feels like rock bottom. Crying and fed up with this person I see. The only way out is up. And that’s where I turned- up to God.

I fell on my face before the Lord and cried out to Him — for hours lol. But He heard me and met me where I was. I knew that there needed to be a change, but I wasn’t sure what to do. The lack of confidence even stopped my forward movement. So…I listened and God reminded me that my ultimate confidence and strength rests in Him alone. He reminded me of who I am. And He told me what I needed to do. He told me how to fight through my insecurities.

I wrote down 5 practical things that I could commit to physically to help me get out of this rut. Simple tasks that I could take on each day. I’m going to keep those things private and between one of my accountability partners. If you’re in a similar circumstance, turn to God and listen. He’ll tell you specifically what you need to do because He knows you.

Honestly, doing these things haven’t brought extreme excitement. I didn’t wake up the first day at 100% but I woke up! I made strides towards the promises I made I journaled. And because of that fight, I can see remnants of my confident self more vividly.

I am encouraged to continue pressing. It’s not easy.

This tee says “Protect the weak.” That includes myself.

“Love everyone.” That includes myself.

And with this fight to self-assurance in and through Christ alone, I am strong.

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Want this Tee?

I got this cool tee from Be Strong Story.  So check it out!

They also have a cool Podcast. Check out the latest episode:

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