Shameful moment…I have a cycle when it comes to the tidiness of my room. It starts off clean. Everything has its place. The furniture is dusted. The laundry is done and the clothes are folded. The carpet is vacuumed and it smells like fresh cotton, one of my favorite candles. I lay on the bed in my newly cleaned room, refreshed by the peace and calmness that it brings, relaxed after all the cleaning. I keep telling myself that this time is going to be different. This time I am going to come home and hang up my clothes after a long day of work. This time, if I pull a book from the shelf, I am going to put it back. This time is going to be different. The first week might go as intended. Maybe even the second week. Eventually, my laziness kicks in and the mess piles up. I do a ton of traveling throughout the week and weekends, so it’s that much more difficult to not dump everything on the floor when I come home. So, I am right back to where I started. A junky room. Giving myself a pep talk to clean it up with hopes that the next time will be different.
Sounds a lot like my spiritual life. It’s a mess sometimes. There’s this never-ending cycle of sinning and cleaning, and cleaning and sinning, until we are completed perfected with Christ when He returns. Until then, I am humbled by the fact that even when I feel like everything is all together, I am a mess. This time will be different. I am going to read my Bible more. I am going to pray more. I am going to do more for others in need. I won’t do this and I’ll cut out this bad habit. Some areas improve, but if I am honest, some are still very much a work in progress.
We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind. Isaiah 64:6 NLT
BUT…there’s some good news yal.
Even in the mess, I am deeply loved. WOW! I’ve tried to think about the depth of Christ’s love and it is quite unfathomable, kinda like the concept of eternity. But I know it’s gotta be pretty deep right?
How do I know I am deeply loved?
In the mess, there is always another chance to turn things around. God loves me through His faithfulness of discipline. He doesn’t just allow me to stay complacent, even though there’s a strong chance of error again. He is faithful to give me a new opportunity to be more like Him. This is how I know.
In my mess, there is still affirmation that my identity is rooted in Christ. He still calls me daughter. He still calls me friend. Abraham was a mess and he was called the father of all nations. David was a mess and he was called a man after God’s own heart. The Prodigal Son was a mess and he was still accepted back in His father’s house. Rahab was a mess and she is included in the genealogy of Christ. This is how I know.
In the mess, there is the patience of God. This is how I know.
In the mess, there is the grace of God. This is how I know.
In the mess, there is the hope of God. This is how I know.
In the mess, there is the forgiveness of God. This is how I know that I know that I know that I am deeply loved.
Do you know?
Here are some passages to help remind us of that deep love in our mess.
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Rom. 5:8
“But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” Psalm 86:15
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8
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