Madly in Love

Happy Singleness Awareness Day! This one is for the singles out there. The ones who might be down on Valentine’s Day. This day can be a little difficult for all the singles that are ready to mingle. There’s a whole 24 hours to remind you that you are missing out. But we’re not missing out and for believers, we never will.

My younger sisters are both happily married to some pretty awesome guys. Family friends and relatives often turn to me, the older sibling, saying, “Well Eshe is married. Nia is married. Where is your husband?” I sarcastically reply saying, “My husband is omnipresent because Jesus is everywhere.” A laugh or an eye roll is the typical response to my sarcasm. Sorry, not sorry but I refuse to let others opinions about my relationship status get underneath my skin.

Like here’s one of my favorite Instagram captions…just for giggles. (See the IG pic floating around)

I wouldn’t say that I am 100% ready to mingle, but I share in the spiritual struggle of the Christian single. For those that are ready to mingle, this holiday is a constant trigger that the grass possibly is super green on the other side. We try to brush it off with churchy sayings. I am in love with Jesus. Jesus is my husband. ok ok ok listen…I love Jesus, but He’s not my husband.

However, He did give me a great gift…singleness. This gift, on the surface, doesn’t really look like a gift at all. I mean, we were created to be relational beings. Even God created Eve because He declared it was not good for man to be alone.  And let’s not even start on the abstinence vow struggle. It gets real, real fast. So why is singleness a gift?

It’s a gift because there are less distractions.

Single people don’t want to hear this part, especially from married folks, but it’s true! Marriage isn’t a sin or the ultimate distraction from a healthy relationship with God, but it can present some barriers. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7 that we can be and should fully devoted to the Lord as singles.

In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 1 Corinthians 7: 34 NLT

FYI…the verse talks about men too. I’m a woman so there’s that. Anyway, I have entered some relationships prematurely and because of that, I was distracted. My eyes were no longer on Christ. I saw my priorities beginning to change in a negative way. Some boundaries began to loosen and my relationship with God suffered. Now I’m using my singleness to dive deeper into the Word to stand strong when I’m tempted to take my eyes off Christ again for a fleeting reward. By diving deeper, I know Him more and love Him more.

It’s a gift because marriage isn’t the end goal.

Marriage is not the end goal. I had to say it again for the people in the back.

Growing up, I was unconsciously taught to prepare my life for the days I was married. Societal norms can be a little heavy. As for me, the closer I’ve gotten to God, in my singleness, has shown me that the wife, bae or helpmate title was not the foundation of the identity that I am striving for. Don’t get me wrong, those are cool aspects of one’s identity and maybe one day, they’ll be additions to who I already am. But they’ll only be additions. For believers, marriage isn’t in the Great Commission, so it’s ultimately not the end goal in this life; leaving an equal opportunity to enjoy singleness as a gift as well.

It’s hard seeing someone else have something you desire. It’s hard not yet having something God has promised you. It’s hard when you feel like you’re the only one missing out on the fun of romance and late night FaceTimes. It’s hard…but not impossible. One thing that really helps is community. I have a few single sistas who help keep me focused. I vent when I need to and keep it real. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals that will help you dwell on the positives of singleness and not the negatives.

More importantly, God himself is pretty awesome. The more I learn about Him, the more I’m in awe. So I’m using this time to fall more in love with Christ. Cause I sho nuff want a man that’s madly in love with Him too.

Want this tee?

I got this cool tee from Fight Apparel Designs.  So check it out!