Raelyn Sarai’s Birth Story

During the 2021 NBA finals, the following quote from the coach of the Phoenix Suns, Monty Williams, circulated social media. 

“Everything you want is on the other side of hard.” 

These words ring in my ears every time I recall Raelyn’s birth story. Her sweet and precious arrival was definitely on the other end of hard and labor was definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. 

My Birth Plan

While many moms encouraged me to stay flexible, I still created a birth plan with a base line of wants in case things went exactly how I’d hoped. Plan A was for have an unmedicated vaginal hospital delivery and labor at home. To my surprise, that’s exactly what happened. 

Here’s a resource that I used to create a birth plan: https://freebirthplan.com/earth-mama-free-birth-plan/

The Due Date

Pregnancy had been pretty smooth throughout. Of course I endured morning sickness, swollen feet, insomnia and leg cramps but those things were all “normal” and I was blessed with no complications. 

Raelyn’s due date was Sunday, June 27th. And while I was secretly wishing she would come on time, I knew most babies did not come on or before their due date. That day was spent preparing for the week and answering all the “Is the baby here yet?” texts from family and friends. 

The False Alarm

While I figured she wouldn’t arrive on her due date, I was convinced that she would still come in June. Mother’s intuition? Nope. Mama was just tired of pregnancy. 

On June 30th, I woke up, did my makeup (so I could be cute for labor) and got ready for whatever the day would bring. My husband and I were still trying everything we could to start labor. After a long walk at the park and a lot of movement, I felt contractions that were more intense than I ever felt before. Was this it? Looking back now, those contractions were nothing. But at the time, I was thinking “this is it!”

We started timing them out and by the night we got to 5 mins a part lasting 1 minute for 1 hour. 5-1-1! So we headed to the hospital about 1:30 am. June had come and gone but this was close enough. I didn’t expect to be in active labor but I just KNEW I had to be about 3 or 4 cm. 

After admission, things slowed down. The labor nurse checked my vitals and dilation and I was…1 cm. Nothing had changed since my OB told me that days before. So we collected our belongings and headed back home. I’m glad the nurses didn’t laugh. I’m sure they encounter a lot of first time moms who can’t differentiate between labor contractions and Braxton Hicks. I went to bed not realizing this would be the last night I got any sleep until July 3rd, after Raelyn’s birth. 

Labor

Thursday, July 1st and Friday July 2nd came with contractions, but these were different. Not only did I feel them in my tummy but also in my back and bottom. Starting to get a breathing rhythm down, I braced myself for another day of soothing baths, ball bouncing and heating pads. 

In the midst of these contractions because I couldn’t sleep, I read up on other birth stories. Probably wasn’t the best idea – I just wanted some hope that the light was near and there was someone that could relate to my experience. So many stories and so many different realities. So many different timelines. So many different factors to consider.

So I remained the waiting game. Not sure where I was in this process. Growing frustrated and impatient. Sleep deprived and irritated. 

I cried. I screamed. I cried some more. Threw punches. I cried even more. Pain was inevitable in order to see my daughter. Shoutout to my husband and family for their patience and encouragement as I grew more and more impatient.

The Big Day

On Saturday, July 3rd around 12:30 am, I went to the bathroom and lost my mucus plug. I yelled, FINALLY! PROGRESS! 

Contractions continued and I only wanting to be in water. They were easier to handle plus I could doze off in between them. I was a bit nervous that my water would break while in water but I craved some relief. After hours of water submersion, I got dressed to try to make it to the chiropractor for an adjustment – hoping this would relive some pressure from below. 

I could feel her moving lower in my pelvis and walking became painful. I tried different circuits and positions and couldn’t push to finish them through the contractions. Around 1:30 pm, right after a contraction, I felt a trickle of water come out and the pressure faded. Did I pee on myself?

I think my water broke! I called my husband from the other room and told him it was time to head to the hospital!

When we arrived to the hospital, the contrast between the false alarm arrival was quite hilarious. This time, I couldn’t walk. Thankfully, transportation was outside with a wheelchair to take me in. 

My plan was to do an unmedicated birth but after days of contractions and no sleep, I was prepared to ask for drugs if they said I was only a few cm dilated. And I was…6 cm!

This was huge! I was relieved even tho my demeanor didn’t show it. My water hadn’t completely broken and I agreed to let the doctor break it to keep things moving. 

Around 2:30 pm, the labor nurse leaned over and said, “you’re going to have this baby before my shift ends.” I kindly responded, “I’m shooting for 5:30 pm. I don’t know where that specific time came from, but I felt that if I said something out loud, my body would obey. 

Time to push

As I laid in the bed bracing each contraction that was 3-4 minutes a part, I tried to imagine the “Time to push” feeling that I had heard so much about from other moms. In my imagination, I equated it to an emotional experience that I would feel in my soul. Perhaps I’d see a light from above or hear a whisper from heaven. No – it was a literal and physical feeling lol. It was time to push. 

The labor nurse checked me a final time and said I was complete. Time to notify the OB! It was 5:40 pm. 

After 15 minutes of pushing, my beautiful baby girl came out with powerful lungs and we began the golden hour. As she laid on my chest and received a few stitches, I enjoyed watching my husband cut her cord and admire our new baby girl. 

Raelyn Sarai Ward, 6 lbs 7 oz | 20 inches

I did it! (Really we did it! My husband was by my side the entire time)

While this was the hardest process I’ve ever encountered, I endured. 

My biggest lesson in the midst of the pain was surrender and trust. There was nothing I could actually do. The entire process was out of my control. I couldn’t tell my body to speed up. I had to completely surrender to the Lord and trust that there was a blessing waiting for me on the other side of hard and she is truly a blessing.